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fall right in?

21 Oct

I’ve been meaning to write an explanation for the name of my blog for a while. But there’s really a lot going on. Except now, when I’m writing this at work. Isn’t it funny that when you’re armpit deep in school work, you find yourself hurrying up to…do nothing. I should have brought some homework to my internship, especially since I already used up an hour wrapping my fellow intern as a mummy, and taking photos of myself as a Roman orator. The ush.

See.

So like all good titles, “fall right in” is a song reference to a Modest Mouse song. I don’t really know the name (it’s probably something like the title of my blog) and I probably couldn’t name another Modest Mouse song. My brother was really into them BEFORE THEY GOT FAMOUS. That’s important because he likes to discover new bands and then drop them when they’re too mainstream. But I know this particular song because he put it on a mix CD for me when I was going through a college break-up. [Sidenote: as a result of my brother’s unusual taste in music and the number of CDs he burned for me over the years, I have quite eclectic music taste but I DON’T KNOW THE NAMES OF ANY OF THE BANDS OR SONGS.  Mixed CDs don’t come with song lists! Example: the Radiohead song they play in the movie “Something Borrowed”?  I totes listened to that song about ten years ago, over and over again. I’m at once a maven, and oblivious.]

But the song doesn’t really become significant until I find myself sitting in a Starbucks in Alexandria, VA (Duke Street!), waiting to have an interview. I was hoping to transfer from my college position at Starbucks in State College, PA, to Alexandria in order to a) move out of my mother’s house post-grad, and b) (most importantly) move-in with my then boyfriend (you know him as “A”) and start our “life” together. (“Life” because no one who works for his company has one). I had a lot banking on this interview. It would make the difference between pulling myself out of a serious depression induced by being 8 hours away from A, and rotting, alone at my mother’s house indefinitely.

And then the song came on. And it said, “Everything will/fall right into place…” I took it as a sign, and I clung to it. I guess you could say this song became my mantra, and TRUST ME, I have fallen back on that mantra in many stressful times.

I did get the job. But I also got a full-time, salaried job with benefits. How’s that for falling into place?

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why I need a project.

13 Sep

It might not seem immediately obvious why I need a project.  After all, I’m interning 24 hours per week in a non-profit PR department and going to school full-time to earn my MBA.  Not to mention taking care of my fiancé (his “dry cleaning” is in the dryel bag as I write) and my German Spitz, Rocky (he’s a little neurotic).

But it starts to make more sense.

The soul-sucking company that A works for steals him away for months at a time for busy season after busy season.  Sure, he comes home to sleep, but that still leaves me with hoooooooouuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrssssss most nights, during which I do highly important things: nap, drown myself on the internet, and watch tv on DVR.

Basically I need to get a life.

I also realized I might need a way to define myself.  Over the course of the last two years, I rushed a move to DC (to be with A), took the first job I could get, and started my enslavement as a sales rep for a national cellphone provider.  I completely and utterly lost every spark of interest I had in the world.  When I wasn’t at work, I slept, and couldn’t bear getting out of bed because I was that disgusted with the trajectory of my life.  If anyone would have asked me (and even now, though it’s improving) “What do you like to do?” I would have lied.  Or said nothing, but that would have been rude.

But I had A, and knew that it was only a matter of time until I figured out what I was going to do with myself.  I had a near-flawless undergraduate record and after MUCH deliberation, decided I would abandon Museum studies, in lieu of an MBA.  A tad more versatile.  So now that I’ve let the shackles in DC and embarked on The Plan, I want the whole package.  I want to get myself back.  Be happy, be interesting, be diverse, well-read, enthusiastic, and inspired.

The first mission: buy a digital camera.

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